Slayers at the 2012 Olympics
by XellossLina
Summary: My entry for a contest last year on DA which was 'If the Slayers took part in the 2012 Olympics' One Shot humor with hinted Xelloss/Lina but very light, you can still read without liking the pair


"How the hell did I allow myself to get talked into this crap you damn fruitcake?" Lina Inverse snarled at Xelloss beside her, tugging at the bright yellow skirt that was just far too short on her along with her pink top she detested, a golden racket with a brown handle in her hand as they were competing in the Summer Olympics. She was promised the medals given out to the winners of each competition had magical amplifying powers for athletes, Lina was hoping this would either help her become stronger or possibly amplify her body to more like an athlete's fit which could include bigger breasts she had hoped. At least it could according to what that trickster priest who ended up being her partner told her… She wondered what all he did to end being paired with her in the mixed doubles. "At least you didn't pull some crap and sneak into the women's doubles earlier…"

"Aww no need to be like that, Lina-chan." Xelloss wagged his forefinger, winking at her. He was wearing the same outfit had had with the Brass Rackets game, which was a blue short and tan shorts. "If I had pretended to be in the women's team, I may have not paired with you now as Miss Amelia and Miss Naga had entered as well."

Lina smacked him in the head with her racket, the object glowing slightly as she did. "WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME LINA-CHAN FRUITCAKE?!"

Xelloss groaned for a moment, then rubbed his head. "… Lina, is that a Brass Racket? You do know this competition is normal tennis right?"

"Of course it is stupid! I just altered it a little to pass for the rackets they use here." Lina crossed her arms in a huff. "It's not much different than Brass Rackets, and the magic amplification will help me since this is a knockout format."

The priest sweatdropped. "… Errr, Lina-ch… I mean Miss Lina, this isn't the same knockout like Brass Rackets… You could be disqualified."

Lina ignored him as they arrived on the tennis court. "Hey look it's starting, let's see who the poor sucker is that…. HUH?!"

An annoying laugh made Lina groan as Naga stood before her in a black sports bra and gym shorts for her outfit, next to her was Gourry in a red shirt and black shorts. "GOURRY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH HER?!"

Gourry rubbed his head. "Well she treated me to dinner and asked me to play with her. Since I had time before that Oil Limper thing started I thought why not?"

"Olympics, Mister Gourry." Xelloss corrected. "And you're in the stadium now, you're our opponents I gather."

"You will tremble before Naga, the Great White Serpent!" Naga boasted as she pointed her racket at Lina. "Lina Inverse, this is the day I make you pay!" she grabbed onto Gourry's arm. "This handsome one is quite strong, too bad you didn't hold onto him I might as well help myself hmm?"

An ominous aura surrounded Lina as she lifted her racket, power flowing through as she heard the announcement that the game begun. She was chosen to serve, and she tossed the ball into the air, smacking it with her Brass Racket charged with energy and sent the ball soaring at rocket speed towards her hated rival, the ball encased in flames. "FLARE ARROW SERVE!"

"AH!" Naga cried as the ball hit her in the face, hissing loudly as she struck it back. "Hey we weren't supposed to use magic in these games!"

Lina grinned. "Well too bad for you that you never played Brass Rackets before." She quickly smacked the ball back with intense force.

This time Naga's racket hit the ball, but it was coming so fast with immense power it destroyed her racket! "So that's why it's so magically charged!" she hissed, snatching Gourry's racket from her hand. "You'll pay for that you no bust cheater! Freeze Arrow Serve!" she enchanted the ball with ice and several arrows followed with it.

Xelloss slowly backed up with a sweatdrop on his head. "Mister Gourry, I'd get away quick if I were you…"

"… FIREBALL SERVE!" Lina snarled, pouring all her energy into the Brass Racket and causing a massive explosion.

A good chunk of the stadium was missing from the attack, Naga groaning on the ground in pain next to Gourry who had gotten caught in the explosion.

Lina stood over them with a deadly glare. "… What did you call me, Naga?" she growled, then continuing on chanting something very low.

Naga shivered as Gourry popped his head up. "I think she was making a remark about your small breasts."

"Oh dear, I think I hear Lord Beast Master calling." Xelloss quickly teleported out.

"DRAGON SLAVE SERVE!" Lina shout, having just finished the chant and exploding the whole stadium.

"WHY DID THEY DISQUALFY ME?!" Lina snarled a few hours later in the results area.

"Oh let's see, you not only brought in a magical racket that violated the game's rules, you blew up the stadium and put lives at risk." Zelgadis grumbled, sitting back in his chair.

"You seem awful grumpy Mr. Zelgadis for someone who won the gold in the Men's Air Pistol division." Amelia pointed out, sitting beside the bandaged up Naga & Gourry.

"Have any of you seen just what these stupid gold medals are?" Zelgadis hissed, holding up the medal. "It's magically amplified alright, to assist athletes with body odor!"

All the blood drained from Lina's face. "WHAT?! You mean it's not a stamina or power booster?"

"Oh my, who would have known?" Xelloss chuckled, having reappeared before them. "The guidebook merely said it was an asset for athletes so I just assumed it would be for strength or physical appearance. Silly me."

"I'LL KILL YOU FRUITCAKE!" Lina snarled, tackling him down into a vicious headlock.


End file.
